"Lily Allen has a baggy pussy"

I'm so glad Lily Allen is back. And I'm even more glad that she's back with this song.

If pop music needs anything, it's more women like Lily standing up and calling it out on its bullshit sexist attitude towards women.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it already, here's the video. It's brilliant.

Happy Halloween!

So I've spoken about fancy dress on here before, but it's Halloween time again, and I just want to get all this angst I have off my chest.

I'm going to begin here by quoting Mean Girls*.

'In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.' - Cady Heron

WHY IS THIS A THING?! Just because it's Halloween doesn't actually mean you have to dress in next-to-no clothes. Come on, ladies! Think of something more original and funny than a sexy cat/nurse/zombie. I know you can do it.

F*** the patriarchy; I'm sexy even when I'm covered in bright orange face paint. 

I could easily 'go off on one' here about the over-sexualisation of women by the patriarchy, but I feel like I've spoken about these matters before, and I know some of you won't want to read my 'rad-fem bullshit' anyway.

Wait. This is my blog. And I can write what I like.

Do you want to know why men's Halloween outfits aren't sexualised like women's? The patriarchy. Do you want to know why women feel like they have to dress 'sexy' to attract a man? The patriarchy. Do you want to know who created the false consciousness of women and made them believe that they need to dress in this way? You got it, THE PATRIARCHY. 'Sexy' costumes are degrading and the only reason women wear them is because men have told them that's what they look good in. 

(Mega left-wing points to me for getting Marx and Rad-Fem in one paragraph).

So, back to the point in hand. Halloween is about remembering the dead (and obviously also about knocking on total strangers doors to ask for sweets). It is not about dressing 'like a total slut' without the fear of being judged.

Halloween should be about originality. It should be about trying to stand out from the crowd and about making a lasting impression. If you're going to dress up, try and come up with a costume that people are going to be talking about for days afterwards.

Anyway, here's a song that is not only catchier than the bubonic plague, but also sums up what I'm trying to say here really rather nicely.

*Totally using Mean Girls as a legitimate reference. And what.

Who Run the World?

I'm just going to throw it out there and let the hate roll in, but I don't really get the whole Beyonce thing. I genuinely struggle to understand why people love her so much because nothing I read about her makes me warm to her in anyway. I get that she's amazing at singing and whatever, but she kind of comes across as a bit of a* narcissist. (I imagine the responses I'm going to get to this post will be more hostile than that time I tweeted something mean about Harry Styles and got death threats from 'Directioners').

First and foremost, I would like to tell you why Beyonce is a crappy role model for young girls and why we shouldn't be encouraging them to look up to her.

Is it cold in here?

This is a picture of Beyonce performing one of the opening numbers in her Mrs Carter Show World Tour. Now I know you all have eyes but I'm going to point it out anyway: you can see her nipples. HER NIPPLES. That is not family friendly viewing, that's Amsterdam-sex-shop-over-18s-only-please viewing. Girlfriend has the voice of an angel, so why on earth is she selling her body? (She might not be selling it for sex, but she's definitely selling it). Young girls shouldn't be looking up to a woman who shakes her booty in a barely-there outfit. They shouldn't be equating wealth and power with sex and nudity. If Beyonce wants to dress like this, then that is absolutely fine; it is, after all, her choice. But we should not be encouraging young girls to idolise her. There are much more powerful women in the world who didn't take all their clothes off to get to the position they're in now.

Another thing that really creeps me out about Beyonce is that she's managed by her Dad (or at least she was. I think she actually might have fired him even though he's the one who made her). Even if I looked half as good as Beyonce, there is not a chance in hell that I would want my dad managing me, my micro-outfits, or my booty. Some of the outfits Bey wears wouldn't look out of place in the bedroom, which makes it even more gross to think about the fact that her dad has probably had some say in how best to sell her image. EW.

I read a while ago as well that Beyonce has someone film her for 16 hours straight every day. She also saves every single photo, video, and interview ever taken of her. Every. Single. One. I don't even know where to begin with this. I find it hard to fathom that someone can be this narcissistic. Seriously, she tried to get this picture removed from the internet (but I can kind of see why):

You have no power here, bitch. 

(Let's just all take a second to look at this picture and feel better about our lives. Even Beyonce looks bad sometimes).

The last thing that really pisses me off about Beyonce is the fact that she's chosen to call her world tour The Mrs Carter Show World Tour. If she's such an independent woman, why is she now using her husbands name? Why carve a career for yourself, and then suddenly decide you want to be defined by someone else? That's what taking someone else's name means in my eyes; you're no longer your own person, but you belong to your husband. Taking his name, is like letting him write 'property of Mr X' in sharpie on you as if you were nothing more than school P.E. kit. Seriously Bey, start practicing what you preach, and be an independent woman.

*MASSIVE